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Goals for 2020 - Part 2

Letting go of comparisons!

Comparing myself to others is a habit that has been with me since my childhood. Thinking back, I used to compare myself academically with the other “high achievers” in my grade. We would compare marks, awards, as well as comments made by our teachers. As an adolescent, I became increasingly concerned with my appearance. I would compare myself to the celebrities in magazines. I wanted to have flawless skin like them, bigger breasts, longer legs, straighter teeth and gorgeous outfits. This sparked negative self-talk and impacted my self-esteem. I did not feel good enough.

Making comparisons has trickled into my adult life as well. Although social media is a great way to stay connected with loved ones, it can lead to unhealthy comparisons. In my case, I would compare myself to others in relation to accomplishments. This included and is not limited to: travel, marriage, material possessions, having children, graduating from post-secondary school, and careers. I felt dissatisfied with my life, as I was failing to accomplish what others had already achieved. I actually deleted all social media accounts for over a year, as it was impacting my mental health. At the present, I find myself making comparisons to colleagues in my profession. It is clear that this unhealthy pattern needs to come to an end. But how?

I believe that awareness is the first step. Acknowledging the comparison can then help me determine what is fueling the comparison. In other words, finding the root cause of the comparison. I will allow any thoughts and feelings to surface, breathe, and then let them go. Awareness is where change can begin. I will start to focus on my strengths as opposed to what I believe I am “lacking.” I will practice gratitude by truly appreciating all the amazing things in my life, such as my family, love, shelter, food, education, freedom of speech, and so on. I will focus on the inward journey. This can help me become a better person each and every day.

My goal starts RIGHT NOW! What are your goals for 2020 and beyond?

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